Violet Trefusis née Keppel (6 June 1894 – 29 February 1972) was an English writer and socialite. She is most notable for her lesbian affair with Vita Sackville-West, which was featured under disguise in Virginia Woolf's Orlando: A Biography.
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Born Violet Keppel, she was the daughter of Alice Keppel, later a mistress of King Edward VII of the United Kingdom, and her husband, the Hon. George Keppel, a son of an Earl of Albemarle. Her biological father, however, was considered by members of the Keppel family to be William Beckett, subsequently 2nd Baron Grimthorpe, a banker and MP for Whitby.[1]
Trefusis lived her early youth in London, where the Keppel family had a house in Portman Square. When Trefusis was four years old, Alice Keppel became the favorite mistress of Albert Edward (Bertie), the Prince of Wales, who became King Edward VII on 22 January 1901. He paid visits to the Keppel household in the afternoon around tea-time (while her husband, who was aware of the affair, was conveniently absent), on a regular basis till the end of his life in 1910.
In 1900 Violet's only sibling, Sonia (grandmother of the Duchess of Cornwall), was born.
Trefusis is best remembered today for her love affair with the wealthy Vita Sackville-West, which Virginia Woolf limned in her novel Orlando. In this romanticized biography of Vita, Trefusis appears as the Russian princess Sasha.[2][3]
This was not the only account of this love affair, which appears in reality to have been very much more strenuous than Woolf's enchanting account: both in fiction (Challenge by Sackville-West and Broderie Anglaise a roman à clef in French by Trefusis) and in non-fiction (Portrait of a Marriage, which mingles Sackville-West's letters and extensive "clarifications" by her son Nigel Nicolson) further parts of the story appeared in print.
There are still the surviving letters and diaries written by the participants. Apart from those of the two central players, there are records from Alice Keppel, Victoria Sackville-West, Harold Nicolson, Denys Trefusis and Pat Dansey.[3] The Yale University Library contains correspondence, writings and other materials by or related to Violet Trefusis. The correspondence consists of approximately 500 letters from Trefusis to John Phillips written in the 1960s. Also included are letters to Trefusis from her mother, Alice Keppel, her sister, Sonia Keppel, and several governmental departments in France and England concerning Trefusis's re-entry into France after World War II, and her nomination to the Légion d'honneur. Writings include holograph and typescript drafts of Trefusis' memoirs, novels, plays, etc. Other materials include a miniature case portrait of Trefusis as a child, and an album containing photographs of friends of the Keppels, taken by George Keppel between 1924-1939 at the family's Villa dell'Ombrellino in Florence, including many members of European nobility and royalty.[4]
Probably the most conclusive overview of the whole story can be found in Diana Souhami's Mrs Keppel and her Daughter (1997).[3] In headlines:
A few years, and some postludes, later it becomes increasingly clear that Trefusis's fantasy - of romantic love lived to the fullest in an accepting social context - was not to come true. The more traditional concept of an upfront marriage with hidden extramarital adventures on the side—marriage as it had been practiced by her mother Mrs Keppel, and would continue to be lived by Sackville-West and Harold—proved immensely stronger for many years to come.
An essential difference between Mrs Keppel and Sackville-West seems to be that Mrs Keppel took care never to distress her lovers (and their marriages), thus advancing her family socially and financially, while Sackville-West caused broken hearts more than once. For her, marriage was rather the refuge she could always come back to after periods of abandonment.
As a side-note it might appear not so surprising that, notwithstanding some general changes in social context by that time, the inherent unresolved tensions of all three models (of Trefusis, Mrs Keppel and Sackville-West) - including mothers taking sides in view of a socially acceptable solution—reappeared in the Diana–Camilla–Charles triangle.
The two former lovers met again in 1940 when the war had forced Trefusis to come back to England. They continued to keep in touch and send each other affectionate letters.
There have been extensive writings on the affair. Most reflect that Trefusis was completely engulfed and overwhelmed by the affair, as was Sackville-West, but that it was Sackville-West who was ultimately in control. Philippe Jullian wrote Violet Trefusis: A Biography, Including Correspondence with Vita Sackville-West, which was released in paperback in 1985. Other writings on the affair include the Philippe Jullian and John Phillips book, The Other Woman: A Life of Violet Trefusis, and Mrs. Keppel and Her Daughter by Diana Souhami. [1] Don't Look Round, a book of reminiscences by Violet Trefusis, was published in England in 1952. In 1992, Viking Adult released Don't Look Round in the United States. Michael Holroyd's A Book of Secrets: Illegitimate Daughters, Absent Fathers (Chatto & Windus, 2010; Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011) devotes many pages to this peculiar story.
From 1923 on, Trefusis was one of the many lovers of the Singer sewing machine heiress Winnaretta Singer, daughter of Isaac Singer and wife of the homosexual Prince Edmond de Polignac, who introduced her to the artistic beau-monde in Paris. Trefusis conceded more and more to her mother's model of being "socially acceptable" but, at the same time, not wavering on her sexuality.
Singer, as Sackville-West had, dominated the relationship, though apparently to mutual satisfaction. The two were together for many years and seem to have been content. Trefusis's mother, Alice Keppel, did not object to this affair, most likely because of the wealth and power of Singer and the fact that Singer carried on the affair in a much more disciplined way. Trefusis seemed to prefer the role of the submissive and therefore fit well with Singer, who, whip in hand, was typically dominant and in control in her relationships. Neither was completely faithful during their long affair, but, unlike Trefusis's affair with Sackville-West, this seems to have had no negative effect on their understanding.
In 1924, Mrs Keppel bought L'Ombrellino, a large villa overlooking Florence, where Galileo Galilei had once lived. After her parents' death in 1947, Trefusis would become the chatelaine of L'Ombrellino till the end of her life.
In 1929, Denys Trefusis died, completely estranged from his seemingly unfeeling wife. After his death, Violet published several novels, some in English, some in French, that she had written in her medieval "Tour" in Saint-Loup-de-Naud, Seine-et-Marne, France - a gift from Winnaretta.
During the Second World War, in London, Violet participated in the broadcastings of La France Libre, which earned her a Légion d'Honneur after the war.
Nancy Mitford said that Violet's autobiography should be titled Here Lies Violet Trefusis, and partly based the character of "Lady Montdore" in Love in a Cold Climate on her.
François Mitterrand, who later became President of the French Republic in 1981, in his chronicle "La Paille & le Grain" (Ed. Flammarion 1975 ISBN 2-08-060778-2 mentions his friendship with Violet Trefusis under the 2nd of March 1972, when he received "the telegram" informing of her death. He goes on discussing how before Christmas 1971, he went to Florence to visit her as he knew she was in her last months of life: he had dinner with Violet Trefusis and Lord Frank Ashton-Gwatkin, who was a member of the British Government at the beginning of the 2nd World War, at her house in Florence.
Violet died at L'Ombrellino on the Bellosguardo. Her ashes were placed both at Florence in the Cimitero degli Allori (The Evangelical Cemetery of Laurels) and in Saint-Loup-de-Naud in the monks' refectory near her tower.
